Just Me

Missed out on a great weekend

2011-04-17T17:51:00.002-06:00

and now I am feeling sad. There were 2 great gatherings this weekend. One in Boston and one in Chicago. I wanted to go so badly. I originally thought I would be at the Chicago get together but I had to back out. I am really trying hard to be financially responsible and to curb my debt. In order to do this I had to make a hard decision and back out of the get together. I know in the long run it was the right thing to do financially but it was hard and sad nonetheless. Not going really hit me harder than I thought it would. I missed out on a great time with some great friends. I hope I get the chance to attend the next one. I was there in spirit with you my fellow bookclubbers! I am glad that you had an awesome time!

Thinking, pondering, sorting out my mind

2011-03-11T01:04:00.002-06:00

So I am sitting here in Maui (husband is asleep), listening to the waves and thinking. I love this place because it is so peaceful and I don't have the everyday distractions of work and life. I'm trying to figure out my life. Big stuff huh?

Have you heard these sayings: square peg in a round hole, 2 is company-3 is a crowd, odd man out? What do they all have in common? They are summing up how I feel most days. I have felt this way for a very long time, I am always the odd man out. It is something I have struggled with. In my husbands family I am the sister-in-law who is never included, with my friends I am the only one without kids, at work I am the one who thought that working hard and playing by the rules would get me somewhere. I keep trying to be the square peg fitting in the round hole. I never can seem to find the square hole.

I guess there is no real point to this other than it was on my mind and I felt like getting it out. Back to vacation. If you need me I will be over here on the outside looking in.

Disappointment

2011-02-02T16:54:00.003-06:00

I don't even know if disappointment is the right word. I am definitely disappointed but it goes so much deeper than that. I'm hurt, angry, sad but most of all one of my dreams was taken away from me. What is this dream? Well, it was a job or more importantly to me it was more of a career.

The job I have now is a job. I really don't see it as a career. I could definitely do it for a long time and have (in my 10th year) but this job that I wanted was definitely a career move for me. It's at my current place of employment and it was a step up from what I am doing now. I really wanted this job. There is not much turnover in the area so I have been waiting for a long time to get my chance and that chance came up recently.

There were 6 candidates of which I was one. There were 2 openings. I thought my chances were good but deep down my insecurities were getting the best of me and I really didn't think I had a shot. On paper I am extremely well qualified. I have been preparing myself over the last 9 years to do this job by taking on extra responsibilities to make sure that I was qualified. I went back to school to get my paralegal certificate to bump the legal side that I would need. Part of my schooling allowed me to do an internship at work that gave me some hands on experience. I thought I was welll prepared. I thought my interview went well but apparently it did not. I was not offered the position. I lost out to someone who was not nearly as qualified nor had anywhere near the time in. One person who got one of the positions is great. I am happy for her, she deserved it.

I am having a really hard time with this. They told me I was over confident, that I came into the interview like I expected the position yet I didn't sell myself. I also didn't give the "right" answer to a questions that I apparently misinterpreted but then was told that there were no right or wrong answers. It's so hard to interview internally. 2 people on the interview are my supervisors, one current, one former, both know what I am capable of and it just doesn't matter.

I used to think that working hard and doing a good job meant something. Apparently I was wrong.

All things new

2011-01-30T18:50:00.001-06:00

In an effort to get back into blogging I've give the blog a little facelift. New background and a new photo. More to come.

Resurrection

2011-01-27T17:06:00.002-06:00

I may be resurrecting this blog. I stopped writing a while ago because I didn't really feel like I had found a voice for this thing. I'm not a mommy blogger (no kids) I'm not a business, I didn't want to limit myself to just a health/diet type thing. So I was not sure where I wanted this thing to go. I'm still not sure that I do.

If there is anyone out there still reading, what do you like to read about when you read someone's blog? Do you want it to be specific to one topic, do you like random everyday life posts? Tell me, what catches your interest?

Wordless Wednesday-Man Candy

2010-05-12T16:39:00.002-06:00

Cal Clutterbuck of the MN Wild! Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-05T16:59:00.002-06:00

I guess it really isn't wordless Wednesday since I just wrote a whole other post but I will leave you with this nice piece of eye candy:

Weekly Challenges Update

2010-05-05T16:54:00.002-06:00

I haven't posted a new weekly challenge in 2 weeks because I decided I really need to make 1 2 and 3 work. It's been very eye opening to journal what I eat and then add up the calories at the end of the day. This is exactly why I need to be journaling. Still working on the water intake as well. I can really tell a difference when I don't drink water, hello headaches! Still have not had any soda other than a sip or two of diet coke that was chasing some excedrin. I think I am on week 4 of no soda. It's been surprisingly easy.

So I will keep plugging away on week's 1, 2 and 3 for now. More challenges to come soon!

Wordless Wednesday-Paradise

2010-04-28T20:57:00.002-06:00

Weekly Challenge #3

2010-04-19T17:39:00.002-06:00

Update on Challenge #2:

I did better with my water intake but still did not make my goal. I'm going to be making this a regular weekly goal since it has been so difficult for me.

I did great with no soda. I didn't have any! Will be keeping this going as well.

So the challenge for this week is to journal what I eat for at least 5 out of 7 days. I know that I am not going to be able to get a handle on my eating without doing this. So far I am on track today.

Man, it is hard trying to get your life in order. I'm feeling overwhelmed because there are so many things I want to change. I'm starting small with these weekly challenges in hopes that the overwhelming feeling will go away. One can hope, right?

Weekly Challenge #2

2010-04-12T16:57:00.003-06:00

Here is a recap of my weekly challenge #1: Huge fail! I did so bad. I think I close to drinking all of my water one day and that was it.

Since the 1st week was not good I will be repeating this challenge for week #2. A minimum of 64 oz. water a day. I'm also adding to this by cutting out all soda. I've cut out soda before and did really well with it but then I started back with a few here and there for the caffiene fix in the morning. I don't think the soda is doing much good for my stomach so it has to go. So back to drinking water.

Anyone joining me?

Weekly Challenge #1

2010-04-05T20:23:00.003-06:00

I meant to start this last week but got sidetracked so here we go. Usually I will be posting these on Sunday for the upcoming week but with yesterday being Easter and all, well you know how that goes.

My first weekly challenge is going to be drinking water. I have been so bad about this lately, seriously BAD! My challenge for the week is to drink at least 64 oz. per day.

I can tell you that Day 1 is so far a fail. More to come.

Anyone care to join me? If so, please reply!

I'm back

2010-03-24T17:39:00.001-06:00

So I have returned from Maui. I want to go back!!! Pictures to follow once I get them uploaded.

Working on my first weekly challenge to start on Monday. Stay tuned.

Coming Soon...........Weekly Challenges

2010-03-03T18:47:00.003-06:00

I am going to start a new thing soon called Weekly Challenges. Each week I am going to challenge myself to do or not do one thing. There are many things I want to do, or give up, or stop doing but I get overwhelmed by thinking about them all at once so I am going to break them down and try them for a week. Hopefully I will incorporate some new good habits. I am totally stealing this idea from my friend The Cheap Chick. If you haven't read her blog you should, she is so awesome.

Some ideas that I have: No shopping at Target, eating fruits and veggies, making sure I get in all of my water for the day, exercising. The list could be endless. I will blog about it too. Maybe it will give me some motiviation to write stuff down.

I won't be starting until after vacation though. Maui here I come!

Awesome Recipe

2010-02-20T19:35:00.002-06:00

I have a madlove for The Pioneer Woman. I love her website and I love her cookbook. In attempt to actually use the cookbooks that I have and to branch out with my cooking I have been making an effort to use some new recipes. I found this recipe on The Pioneer Woman's website. I think this may be the first thing that I have made where my husband is saying that I have to definitely make this again. He keeps talking about it too. He never does this. I was so proud of this dish. Here you go, make this! You won't regret it.

Chicken Parmigiana

Added by Ree on October 19, 2009 in Main Courses, Pasta
Prep Time 15 MinutesCook Time 45 Minutes
Servings 6
Difficulty Easy

Ingredients
4 whole (up To 6) Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts, Trimmed And Pounded Flat
½ cups All-purpose Flour
Salt And Pepper, to taste
½ cups Olive Oil
2 Tablespoons Butter
1 whole Medium Onion, Chopped
4 cloves Garlic, Minced
¾ cups Wine (white Or Red Is Fine)
3 cans (14.5 Oz.) Crushed Tomatoes
2 Tablespoons Sugar
¼ cubes Chopped Fresh Parsley
1 cup Freshly Grated Parmesan Cheese
1 pound Thin Linguine

Preparation Instructions
Mix flour, salt, and pepper together on a large plate.Dredge flattened chicken breasts in flour mixture. Set aside.
At this time, you can start a pot of water for your pasta. Cook linguine until al dente.
Heat olive oil and butter together in a large skillet over medium heat. When butter is melted and oil/butter mixture is hot, fry chicken breasts until nice and golden brown on each side, about 2 to 3 minutes per side.Remove chicken breasts from the skillet and keep warm.
Without cleaning skillet, add onions and garlic and gently stir for 2 minutes. Pour in wine and scrape the bottom of the pan, getting all the flavorful bits off the bottom. Allow wine to cook down until reduced by half, about 2 minutes.Pour in crushed tomatoes and stir to combine. Add sugar and more salt and pepper to taste. Allow to cook for 30 minutes. Toward the end of cooking time, add chopped parsley and give sauce a final stir.
Carefully lay chicken breasts on top of the sauce and completely cover them in grated Parmesan. Place lid on skillet and reduce heat to low. Allow to simmer until cheese is melted and chicken is thoroughly heated. Add more cheese to taste.
Place cooked noodles on a plate and cover with sauce. Place chicken breast on top and sprinkle with more parsley. Serve immediately.

Another Blog to check out

2010-01-20T19:28:00.003-06:00

Need an amazing photographer? Live in the Twin Cities? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions then you need to check out my friend Jen at Jen Rusch Photography. She takes amazing photos. (and yes, I do know her in real life). She even lives near me.

One of these days I am going to have her take some photos for me, well that is when I can convince my husband to get his photo taken. Let's just say this is not an easy task.

So, go ahead, check out Jen's blog and all of her lovely photos. You won't regret it.

Remembering Emilie

2009-12-28T19:00:00.002-06:00

Another Christmas has come and gone. Done are the days of shopping, baking, traveling, the usual hustle and bustle that goes along with the Christmas holidays, what isn't done for me is remembering Emilie. If you read this blog then you probably know that my friend Emilie Lemmons passed away last Christmas Eve. Emilie left behind a husband and 2 beautiful boys along with her parents, sisters, other relatives, many, many friends and possibly thousands of blog readers. Cancer took my friend's life but it did not take away her spirit.

Emilie and I met on a message board for brides-to-be who were planning their weddings. At first we were just internet friends but we met in person and became friends in real life. I attended her wedding which was about 6 weeks after mine. After Emilie's wedding I started on my journey to convert to Catholicism. Emilie volunteered to be my RCIA sponser. She attended all of my classes with me and was there as I made my profession of faith and formerly entered the Catholic religion. I learned a lot about Emilie during this time and we really bonded. After the classes were done we didn't see each other as much. Life got in the way. We were busy with work, life, school, family obligations. We kept saying we needed to get together. We finally did about a year and a half before she passed away. We only saw each other once after that. It was shortly after Emilie returned home from the hospital after having her first major surgery, the one that was supposed to rid her body of all the cancer. I took dinner to her and her family. Of course we talked about getting together and chatting more. There were so many things that I wanted to say and never got the chance. I always thought there would be more time.

I don't think that I was a very good friend to Emilie. I'm terrible at keeping in touch. I mean well but my actions don't always show that. I did send her a few emails letting her know how much she meant to me and thanking her for being my friend and helping me along my journey of faith. She never responded. I hope she got them and I hope that she knows how much she touched my life. Emilie is one of those people that come around in your life once in a great while. I treasure the short time that I had with her.

Rest in peace Emilie. I will always cherish the time we had together. I wish your stay on this earth had been longer but know that you touched many lives in your short stay, including mine.

I miss you my friend.

Check out this blog

2009-12-14T18:41:00.001-06:00

Found this today while purusing Facebook. If you like to save money it looks to be a good one. She goes by Coupon Mama on Facebook.

"Family"

2009-12-09T18:34:00.003-06:00

I'm jumping on my soapbox in this post to complain about something that has been bothering me lately. It pertains to the word "family" and it's definition. What has me riled up currently is a certain jewelry store's holiday commercial. It shows a mom rocking a sleeping baby in the dark. The dad comes down and says something about it being Christmas morning and that it is "our first Christmas as a family". So they weren't a family before they had the baby? This is a very sensitive issue for me as I don't have children. I feel that this commercial conveys that if you don't have children you are not part of a family. What does that make me and my husband, just a couple? Are we not a family?

There is so much more I want to say on this topic but I am not going to do that right now. Maybe once I get my thoughts together I will come back with a part 2.

I like Mickey Mouse

2009-10-27T18:23:00.002-06:00

There, I said it. Ok, I like Mickey Mouse. ALOT! I went to Disney World last week and my main goal was to get my picture taken with the Mouse and I did!

Aren't you jealous?

Snow!

2009-10-10T10:58:00.002-06:00

Yes, that is right folks, it snowed in good ole Minnesota today. SNOW! I cannot believe it. I know, I know, I live in Minnesota I should be used to this stuff by now but for cripes sake it is October 10th. That is early even for Minnesota. I actually had to shovel off the deck. Now, we really didn't get that much snow but the deck is the main entrance to the house and our deck gets slippery so I had to dig out the good old trusty shovel. I about cried.

I'm not ready for winter. Good thing I am going to Florida on Thursday for a few days. I need some good old fashioned warm sunshine.

Let's Play Hockey!!!!!

2009-09-21T18:07:00.003-06:00

If you are not a Minnesota Wild fan than you probably don't know that the title of my post is the saying that they use right before they drop the puck before each Wild home game. That's right folks, it's hockey season in Minnesota. I love hockey!

I have been a hockey fan since I was a kid. I used to watch hockey all the time with my dad and my grandpa, everything from the MN Boys State High School Hockey Tournament (big stuff here), to the MN Fighting Saints, to my beloved Minnesota North Stars. The North Stars left Minnesota in 1993. They moved to Dallas Texas where they are now called the Dallas Stars. There is still one original North Star left on that team believe it or not, Mike Modano. Boy did I have a crush on him back in the day! I cried (real tears) when the North Stars left MN. Can you imagine, no professional hockey in Minnesota? Minnesota is the land of hockey and yet we were without a professional hockey team until the NHL expanded and we got the Wild. I was so happy, still am. I used to know (not personally) all the North Stars, Dino Ciccarelli, Neal Broten, Don Beaupre, Mike Modano, Craig Hartsburg. Ah, those we the good old days. I loved watching the Stars play the Chicago Blackhawks. Dino Ciccarelli and Al Secord had quite a rivalry and would undoubtedly get into a fight. Good times.

I boycotted hockey for a while after the Stars left for Texas. Still watched some high school hockey and the Gophers but it just wasn't the same for me. I rarely, if ever, watched a pro game. Then came the NHL expansion and our MN Wild were born in 2000. What a happy day in Minnesota.

I have watched every Wild game that I could since they started here but I have always longed to be a season ticket holder. It was one of my dreams. Last year I had the opportunity to buy in and become a ticket partner. I have a 1/4 share of Wild season tickets, 11 games. It was great fun. I loved it. This year I had the opportunity to become the owner of the tickets and I jumped at the chance. I still have ticket partners because 44 games is a lot! It's also pricey. I kept 1/2 the season and have sold off some but it's my name on the tickets! Section 113, Row 7. 7 glorious rows off the ice at the end that the Wild shoot at twice.

Last night was my first game (preseason) as the official owner of the tickets, what a thrill, we played the Chicago Blackhawks. Ah, good memories of days gone by. Lots of fights and the Wild won 3-0.

Hockey, it's good to have you back. Looking forward to a great season!

The 2009 Breast Cancer 3-Day

2009-09-01T06:37:00.003-06:00

Wow, what an experience. This was my 5th year being involved with the Breast Cancer 3-Day and my 2nd as a walker. I'm telling you this is one incredible event.

We started out on Friday morning in the pouring rain. It sure looked like it was shaping up to be a miserable day but by about 9:00 it started to clear up. It turned out to be a gorgeous, sunny day. We walked through Edina, S. Mpls, into downtown Mpls, past the U of M and finishing up walking down Summit Ave to Macalester College. Camp was in Maplewood. This year I decided that I was not going to stay in camp. I'm not much of a camper, my idea of camping is a hotel. My teammate and I stayed in a hotel close to camp and it was a really good idea. So nice to relax in a hot tub after a long day of walking!

Saturday had us starting out in Maplewood, walking through Shoreview, Roseville and St. Paul and finishing up back at Camp. Back to the hotel to soak in the hot tub and sleep in a real bed.

Sunday had us in Maplewood, North St. Paul and St. Paul, walking through the East Side and finishing up at the State Capitol. Day 3 had lots of hills! It was also the warmest of the 3-Day so it was tough but we knew the finish line was in site and we were almost done.

The support of random people was so amazing. Our cheering stations had hundreds if not a thousand people at them cheering us on, offering us snacks, treats, ice and words of encouragement. Kids were out in full force wearing pink, giving us high fives and holding signs, it was amazing. I get choked up just thinking about it.

I spent a good portion of the event walking alone. Well, you are not really alone on this event as there is always someone to walk with and talk to, but my teammate and I walk at different paces and I'm slow. I also needed to put my health first since I have that heart condition to contend with. I thought we would finish together but she apparently needed to continue on and she finished without me so I trudged along and made my way to the Capitol alone. I was bummed that I would be crossing the finish line by myself and that no one would be waiting for me but I was glad to be finishing at all. As I approached the finish line, it was line with people offering high fives and congratulations, it felt good. As I got a little further along I heard someone yell out my name and I looked up and it was a good friend of mine and his wife. Nancy was also walking the 3-Day this year and she finished ahead of me and she waited for me along with her husband Mike who I have been friends with for you years, way back to our days of working at the Shelter. What a site that was, to have someone there for me. What an incredible feeling. That hug was the best one yet! I never did meet up with my teammate, not quite sure what happened to her so I finished the event and the victory walk with my friend Nancy and her teammate Barb. It was great!

Closing ceremonies as always were very emotional, it signifies not only the end of the event but hope for the future, hope that we will find a cure to end this awful disease. Hope, because EVERYONE DESERVES A LIFETIME!

Debt Reduction Plan

2009-07-29T18:27:00.003-06:00

My new goal is to reduce the amount of debt that I currently. Let's face it folks, it ain't pretty. Some of it was necessary expenses but most of it was not. I am quite embarrassed by the amount of debt that I currently have so it is time to take some serious action.

Here are some of things that I am currently doing:

1) Selling off things (my Coach collection) on Ebay
2) Selling off things on Craigslist
3) Stopping all unnecessary shopping

I'm going to start tracking all of my expenses by keeping a spending journal. Whenever I have extra money I am going to make extra payments on the old credit cards. I'm also doing a major overhaul of the household expenditures to see where I can trim the budget. I'm already a coupon clipper so that helps but I need to be much more vigilant about it.

I'm also looking for tips and tricks. How have you reduced your debt? What has worked for you? What hasn't worked? I'm going to share tips and tricks along the way and I will regularly post what is working and what is not. I hope you will join me on my journey. Maybe writing these things out for others to read will help keep me accountable.

My first tip: All You Magazine Have you heard about this magazine? I had not heard about it until recently. Apparently you can only purchase it at Walmart or subscribe via their website. I haven't received an issue yet but apparently this magazine is packed with coupons and tips. So far I am digging the website. I found a deal on a 2 year subscription for $16.00, check out Deal Seeking Mom for more info. (offer expires 7/31/09 so hurry).

So that is it for today. Check back again for more updates, tips and whatever else I can think of related to reducing debt.

Something unbelievable happened

2009-07-27T18:11:00.002-06:00

I went to Target on Saturday and I left empty handed. Yes, that is right, I did not spend even a penny in Target. I don't know how it happened. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I think I am still in shock.

3-Day Donations

2009-07-16T16:53:00.002-06:00

I making a last ditch effort to finish my fundraising for the Breast Cancer 3-Day. I need to raise $2300.00 in order to participate in this fantastic event. This will be my 5th year participating and my 2nd time walking.

So far I have raised about $1600.00 so that means I have about $700.00 to go. I'm getting close. I had a great fundraiser planned for last weekend and no one showed up. :(

For any donation received from this date forward I will send you a lovely free gift! I had these great bags made up to hand out at my fundraiser but since no one was there I have bags to give away. They are fabric bags with a drawstring closure made out of pink ribbon fabric. Super cute! If you give me a donation (any size) I will send you a gift bag. If your donation is over $50.00 the gift bag will have goodies. If your donation is over $100.00 your gift bag will have even more goodies!

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I am posting a link to my donation site. If you have already donated, thank you! If you are planning to donate, thank you in advance! Any donation is greatly appreciated.

Everyone deserves a lifetime!

http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/TwinCitiesEvent2009?px=1252447&pg=personal&fr_id=1302

Another Cool Blog

2009-07-07T19:57:00.006-06:00

I have another cool blog for you all to check out. It's called The Marketing Mama . The author of the blog is my friend Missy and yes I know her in real life. We met several years ago on The Knot, when we were planning our weddings. She is a pretty cool chick and she has lots of great things to say. You will espicially dig her blog if you are a parent. She has lots of great stories, tips, product reviews, you name it.

Another really cool thing about Missy's blog is that she is in the running for the Minneapolis/St. Paul Best Blog award. I think you should all read her blog and then use this link to vote for her. There are 7 days left to vote.

Check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Cool Blogs

2009-06-19T11:47:00.003-06:00

You know, I have a lot of links over there to the left, of blogs I like to read. Most of them belong to friends of mine. Some of them I have found through internet searchs and some of them I have found through other blogs. From time to time I am going to highlight one or two blogs that I think you should check out.

Today I am recommending 1 blog. I hope you will check it out. This blog belongs to someone that I have never met but would love to meet some day. I found her blog listed on one of my friends blogs. I don't know if my friend actually knows her or not (maybe I will ask her) but anyways it's a great read, all about her life as an american living in Australia. I love reading her entries, she's very funny and witty and I bet she has a great sense of sarcasm. I truly appreciate a good sense of sarcasm in a person. So here it is, check out Florida Girl in Sydney. You won't be disappointed.

P.S. do you think I said blog enough in this post? Geesh.

Feeling Discouraged

2009-06-09T14:36:00.002-06:00

I am feeling very discouraged about my participation in this years Breast Cancer 3-Day. This is an event that I really love and this will be my 5th year participating in some way. This year I decided to walk despite my health concerns. I have been training with a personal trainer and that has been going well. My walking isn't quite up to the mileage it needs to be but I will get there. It seems like I take one step forward only for something to come up and knock me back ten steps. I have had a few recent illnesses that have interferred with my training and that has been discouraging.

My main feelings of discontent surround fundraising. It's darn hard to raise $2300.00. In order to walk I have to raise a minimum of $2300.00. If I don't raise it I either don't walk or pay the difference myself. I started out pretty strong but things have really died off. I know the current state of the economy has impacted charitable giving and I am really feeling the pinch, it's hard when family member don't donate. I also feel badly for asking more than once. I hate asking for money even if it is for a good cause. I know that I hate getting bombarded by several requests for donations so I won't do that to people that I know. I feel like if someone wants to donate and I ask once then they will.

I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I will be paying the majority of my participation fee myself this year and that this will be the last year that I walk. This is the choice that I made by not having a lot of joint fundraisers and by not participating with a large team that can handle pulling off large fundraisers. I am happy with my team size of 2. I feel badly that I have considered dropping out. I feel badly that I have not been as successful with my fundraising as I was the past few years. It actually makes me feel like a failure.

Food Obsessions Part 3

2009-05-28T19:23:00.003-06:00

I know you have all been dying for this latest installment of my food obsession so here we go. This food obsession is all about Philly food. Yes, that is right folks food from Philadelphia. This was just going to be about Cheesesteaks but when I was in Philly I discovered another heavenly delight known as the Tastykake. So I decided to make it all one post about Philly food.

Again I have the food network to blame for my obsession with the Cheesesteak. I saw some show, probably Unwrapped, and saw what a real Cheesesteak looked like. Now, you can get cheesesteaks in MN, I have had them but once you have had a real cheesesteak from Philly, there is just no comparison. Here in MN we call them Philly Cheesesteaks, in Philly, it's just a cheesesteak. Remember this folks because apparently people from Philly don't like it when you refer to a cheesesteak as a Philly Cheesesteak.

So anyway, back to my obsession. I love steak, I love hoagie rolls and I love cheese. I needed a cheese steak. Believe it or not I actually researched where to go. The food network helped. I found that there are 3 main places in Philly to get a cheesesteak. One is Pat's, one is Geno's and one is Jim's on South Street. I consulted some of my message board friends about cheesesteaks and where to go and found that there was ordering protocol that needed to be followed. What?? Apparently at some places if you do not order correctly you are sent to the back of the line. I could not let this happen. I got schooled on how to order, Whiz wit, whiz witout. What is Whiz? Whiz is cheesewhiz. Wit means with onions, witout means without onions. Provy is Provolone. Now there is more to this than what I am explaining but it's been a while since I was in Philly so I'm sure I am leaving a few things out, I just wanted you to have an idea. I was so nervous about this ordering thing.

Once in Philly we had to decide where to go. We didn't have a car but ended up on South Street so Jim's it was. The place was mobbed and the line was long. I was actually practicing in line on how to order. (yeah, lame, I know). I didn't need to worry they were very nice when I ordered. No one was sent to the back of the line. I got my steaks and was in heaven. BEST FOOD EVER! I wanted to get back in line and get another one but I didn't. I seriously want to go back just to have a cheesesteak and yes, I have considered ordering the supplies from Jim's to make them at home. I haven't done it but I have thought about it. I may do it someday.

So about these Tastykakes yeah they are like Hostess only better! Lots of variety's and yummy cakey goodness. I have resorted to ordering Tastykakes from Ebay. I also have a friend at work who is from Philly who brings me some back when she goes home. I think it is probably good that we don't have Tastykakes in MN because it could be dangerous.

So there you have it. Tastykakes and Cheesesteaks. Are they worth it? Darn right they are!

Cute things for sale

2009-05-14T18:30:00.006-06:00

So, by now most you probably know that I am participating in the Breast Cancer 3-Day here in the Twin Cities in August. I need to raise $2300.00 in order to participate. One of my fundraisers is selling these cute "Faith, Hope and Love" necklaces and the Cancer Sucks and Pink Ribbon Buttons.

The necklaces are $10.00. The silver charms says "Faith, Hope, Love" around the charm. The cord is black satin and it is 16 inches long.

The buttons are $3.00 a piece.

If you are interested in purchasing please send me an email. I will ship for free!(I may even consider shipping to Australia ;))

kmabernathy32@msn.com

Food Obsessions Part 2

2009-05-05T18:36:00.002-06:00

I started this food obsession thing with my post about Sonic. I get obsessed with things that I cannot have and I blame it all on The Food Network. They are always talking about some damn place that is no where near me that I want to go to. So I am going to blog about some of my food obsessions. Today's installment is Krispy Kreme.

About 7 or 8 years ago I stumbled across Krispy Kreme in our hotel in Las Vegas. I think at that point I had heard about Krispy Kreme on the Food Network, (it's that damn Unwrapped show). Anyways, we didn't have Krispy Kreme in MN at the time. When I came across the "Hot Donuts Now" light I was intrigued. I loved donuts so I thought what the heck let's stop in. Not that it matters but it was about 3:00 am, early by Vegas standards.

I was quickly in love with those hot glazed donuts. I had never tasted anything so good. I made several trips to Krispy Kreme in that visit to Vegas, thank goodness it was in our hotel. Once I got home I was having a donut withdrawal. I got all obsessed trying to locate a Krispy Kreme but there were none around me. The closest one was 250 miles away in Des Moines Iowa. Yes, I briefly considered driving there but that would have been crazy so what did I do instead?

I emailed Krispy Kreme and asked them to airship me a dozen donuts. They said no. They wouldn't do it because they could not guarantee freshness. I was hugely disappointed. About a year later Krispy Kreme was becoming all the rage and our local paper actually had an article on how you could get Krispy Kreme to Fed Ex you donuts. It wasn't worth the $45 charge. Soon after Krispy Kreme came to MN with huge fan fare. People waiting in line all night for donuts, it was crazy. ( I was not there!) A few stores were built here and then they started popping up everywhere, like gas stations and Target. I didn't like that because I only wanted them hot. Pretty soon Krispy Kreme died off and now all of them are closed again in MN. There are no more hot Krispy Kremes to be found. Guess I'll just have to go back to Vegas.

Sonic

2009-04-28T16:25:00.002-06:00

Let's talk about Sonic for a minute. I went to Sonic for the first time today. I have obsessed about Sonic for quite some time. You see we have only had Sonic in Minnesota for about a year. Why was I obsessed you ask? Because of all the damn Sonic commercials that played on TV when there was no Sonic in MN. I have this thing about wanting things I can't have. So I wanted Sonic because it looks so good on TV.

About a year ago Sonic arrived with quite a large bang. The first one opened up on the East Side of St. Paul which is where I lived for about 37 years but have since moved to a different part of St. Paul (Highland Park in case you were wondering). I was desperate to go. I had to try Sonic. I held off for about a week and then one night I was going to take a trip across town, ok it's about 8 miles but it's like on the other side of St. Paul so anyway I happened to read the paper before I left and found a very interesting story about Sonic that halted my trip. People were waiting in line for 3-4 hours to get into Sonic. WHAT???? Yes, that is right folks business was booming. They actually had to set up a staging area down the road from Sonic, you had to go to the staging area and wait for your turn to enter Sonic's parking lot. I guess it pretty much stayed that way all summer. No Sonic for me. I like to try new things but I am not one to wait 3 hours for food.

A few more Sonic's have opened in MN but none close to me and I never got around to the far eastern side of St. Paul so I was thrilled to hear that Sonic was opening in West St. Paul, very close to my place of employment. I was out and about today and the line wasn't long so I stopped.

My review: It was ok. The burger was decent and so were the tots but I do have to say that the Cherry Limeaid was to die for. It was also happy hour so my drink was 1/2 price.

Is Sonic worth th hype? Eh, you have to be the judge. Will I go back? Yes, there are some other things I would like to try and I am definitely getting another Cherry Limeaid. I also want to try some Ocean thing. Ocean breeze or something like that. It was blue, it looked good.

Now if Chik-fil-A would just get here.............

Flux

2009-04-21T17:25:00.002-06:00

I am once again in a state of flux. This happens to me every so often and I can't really explain why. I get scattered, restless, can't figure out what I want to do, want to do everything. I also can't predict when it's going to hit. Sometimes it doesn't happen for a while and sometimes it comes on sooner than I expect.

I'm starting to suspect that part of it has to do with some really personal things that I just can't go into here because they directly involve someone else and really it is their issue and it wouldn't be right for me to talk about it. It makes me mad not to talk about it because it does directly affect me but it is my duty to keep some things private I guess. I am dealing with this particular issue with a therapist so I am not completely alone.

I tend to want to take care of everyone and everything. I take care of others much better than I take care of myself. I'm trying to work on taking care of myself but that is always a work in progress.

Right now my main source of flux is trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. You would think that at 41 I would have a clue by now but no such luck. I have a job but it's just that, a job. I don't want to do this job until I retire. There is not much room for advancement. There are a couple of possibilities but right now there is a total hiring freeze on at the county and with this economy no one is going anywhere right now.

I feel like I need to carve out something new for myself but I can't figure out what that is. Nothing sounds quite right. How do you find your passion? I feel like I am always going to be in this vicious cycle of one minute being content and the next minute scrambling.

I'm feeling extremely restless...............

Another Recipe

2009-04-13T17:54:00.002-06:00

I found another cool cooking blog that I think you will all enjoy. Check out this Rainbow cake. I think you mom's out there will love it for the kids. The recipe posted is a Weight Watchers friendly recipe but you can skip the WW part and just make the cake like you would a regular old cake recipe. It even has pictures.

Recipe

2009-04-08T19:07:00.002-06:00

I think I have mentioned Pioneer Woman on here before when I was raving about the crash hot potatoes. Anyways there is a new recipe that I must direct your attention to, it's Macaroni and Cheese. I haven't made it yet but it's on the list for this weekend. Enjoy!

Home from Hawaii

2009-03-25T14:21:00.007-06:00

So we got home yesterday. I'm glad to be home but also sad that it is not Maui. I could really get used to that warm weather and sun. It was awesome.

This is the view from our condo. We really are that close to the beach I did not use the zoom for this photo.

Like whales?? This is my best whale shot to date. Here is another:

Like the beach??

It was a wonderful and relaxing vacation despite my fall. Oh yes, I said fall. Took a header off of a curb and fell into the street landing on my elbow. Ended up in urgent care with 8 stitches, a script for an antibiotic and a tetnus shot. I apparently cut my elbow as deep as you can on an elbow. Good job huh? Sorry, no pictures of the elbow.

Now it is just on to day dreaming about next year. Ahhhh...........

I'm Off to Maui

2009-03-07T20:54:00.001-06:00

Will be back in two weeks so this blog will be on hiatus.

Aloha!

8 days until Maui

2009-02-28T20:37:00.003-06:00

Yes, can you see the ticker above??? That's right folks I leave for Maui in 8 days, one week from tomorrow. I won't actually be in Maui until Monday the 9th because we have an overnight layover in Seattle but I still leave in 8 days. I'm so stinking excited I can barely stand it.

Have I mentioned the constant warmth, the beach, the tropical fruity drinks, the warmth, the sun, laying out in the sun, the smell of suntan lotion, falling asleep to the sound of the waves hitting the beach, the gorgeous sunsets, watching the whales?

I may have mentioned those things once or twice. Yes, yes, I know I am bragging. Sue me.

Hey fellow bloggers check this out

2009-02-20T16:29:00.002-06:00

I found out about this on another site I was on:

If you have a blog and promise to write up a review of their cheese once you get the sample, they'll send you some.

Apply here:

http://iledefrancecheese.com/Hello-Bloggers.html?utm_source=MailingList&utm_medium=email&utm_content=caprice240%40hotmail.com&utm_campaign=We+want+you+to+receive+some+free+cheese

I am all about free cheese! I love cheese! I could and usually do, eat cheese every day. Check it out.

One of those days

2009-02-18T19:19:00.002-06:00

Do you ever have those days where you question everything you have ever done? I am having one of those days. I sit here and look back on my life and I second guess every decision I have ever made. I think about what I could have done differently, what I should have done differently and wonder if I had done those things would my life be different. I know that this behavior is not productive but right now I am caught up in a crappy cycle of self doubt, self loathing and insecurity.

My insecurities are getting the best of me lately. I can't shake the feeling that everyone is going to leave me, espicially my husband. Not quite sure where this comes from other than past relationship failures and just more overall insecurities.

I think about all of the friendships I have let slide over the years and then feel bad because I really don't have any real close friendships. I don't really feel like I can call anyone up and whine and cry about how I feel so I do it here. My anxieties get the best of me and I shut down, I isolate myself, I lash out at my husband and try to test him to see if he will run. I don't know how he has put up with me this far.

I hate these craptastic days.

Random musing

2009-02-11T15:47:00.002-06:00

So, my work blocked "personal and social networking" sites recently. This meant no facebook, no MSN message boards and no Blogspot. I was devestated. What would I possibly do at work now that I could not access these sites? Work? Surely I could not be expected to work during business hours??? But, I did work. I was actually quite productive. Shocking, I know.

I was all upset that I could not get on this site. I had all of these great things that I was going to post about. You know, big things, insightful and funny things. Somehow I am able to access this site today. I'm sure it won't last but hey, I will take what I can get. So, where are these big, insightful, funny posts you ask? I have no clue. I'm totally drawing a blank.

UGH!

25 Million dollars

2009-02-03T19:12:00.002-06:00

What is that amount you ask? That is the amount of money that Manny Ramirez was offered by the LA Dodgers to renew his baseball contract for ONE year.

He turned it down!!!!!!!!!!

What, 25 mil is not enough to play ball for ONE year?????? I am stunned.

Breast Cancer 3-Day

2009-01-25T20:53:00.003-06:00

I will be participating in the 2009 Twin Cities Breast Cancer 3-Day. This will be my 5th year participating in this event and it will be my 2nd time walking. I have committed to raising a minimum of $2300.00 to participate in this event. If you would like to help support my fundraising efforts please visit my 3-Day website:

http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/TwinCitiesEvent?px=1252447&pg=personal&fr_id=1302

6 Weeks to Maui

2009-01-21T21:29:00.001-06:00

That's right folks the countdown is on. Well, it has been for a while as evidenced by the ticker at the top of my blog that has been there for several months now.

Now that we are at the 6 week mark it feels real. 6 weeks until sun, sand, ocean waves, beautiful beaches and warm weather!

Yes, I am gloating.

Grief

2009-01-08T21:58:00.004-06:00

I would have to say that grief has taken up a large space in my life the last few weeks. First came word that my friend Emilie was losing her fight with cancer, we thought we had months, turns out it was just days. Emilie passed away on Christmas Eve. Her funeral followed. It was quite a beautiful service. Very fitting of Emilie. As beautiful as it was it was also quite sad. It is hard to say goodbye to a friend. I've experienced grief in the past but never had I lost a friend, someone who was the same age as me. It hit me very hard and I have had some difficulty processing everything. Sometimes I just try to shut it out of my mind completely and other times it is the only thing that is there.

I think maybe this hit me so hard because I am dealing with my own health issues which can be quite serious and potentially fatal. I guess none of us really knows how much time we have left on this earth but it is all compounded when you are dealing with health issues. Emilie and I had talked about this once, shortly after her surgery. I wish I would have had more time to talk to her about it. Things are different when you live with illness. Even though our illnesses were quite different there were similiarities. There is your life before the diagnosis and there is life after. You don't want to be defined by your illness but sometimes it is impossible to avoid. I think it is hard for people to understand all that one goes through when you have an illness that will never go away and can take your life espicially in my case. I don't look sick, I don't act sick. For the most part I probably look healthy and for the most part I would have to say that I am but, (isn't that always the operative word), there is always going to be this thing that is there, this diagnosis, this illness, that does change things.

I have my pity party moments and ask why me. Why wasn't I diagnosed sooner, why didn't someone catch this? Will I get better? Will I die sooner rather than later? It sucks sometimes. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed. I don't want to get up and go to work, or talk to people or go out. I just want to sleep, watch TV and sleep some more. Sometimes I feel weak, rarely do I consider myself strong. I just deal. I could so relate to many of the emotions that Emilie was feeling. How I wish I could pick up the phone and talk to her about it. She would understand. I don't necessarily need answers I just need understanding.

I'm sad to find out that Emilie's blog is no longer going to exist. Please read this article for more info. I still check it almost daily just hoping for something new.

To add to my grief, New Year's Day was the 10th anniversary of the very unexpected passing of my dad. It sure does not feel like it was that long ago, it still feels like it was yesterday. He died of a massive heart attack at the age of 55. I miss him terribly. Rest in peace Dad. I love you and miss you.

New Post Coming Soon

2009-01-04T20:12:00.003-06:00

Things have been hectic and I no longer have access to blogspot at work anymore so my blogging time has seriously decreased. I'm still here everyday and will write something hopefully more exciting than this in the very near future.

Rest in Peace Emilie

2008-12-24T13:49:00.002-06:00

Emilie's fight with cancer is over. She passed away in her sleep last night. I take comfort in the fact that she is no longer in pain and her suffering has ended. Rest in peace my friend. I will miss you!

Emilie

2008-12-20T16:26:00.002-06:00

Today's post is in honor of my friend Emilie. She is facing the final chapter of her life that is coming to an end because of cancer. She is a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, so many things. Please keep Emilie and her husband Steve and their 2 beautiful sons, Daniel and Ben in your thoughts and prayers.

You can read her blog by clicking on her name above.

Emilie, if you are reading, you are loved and admired by many. I consider it an honor to call you my friend.

Dogs with Blogs

2008-12-05T07:43:00.003-06:00

No, my dogs don't have a blog (yet). I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with this blog and my weightloss blog but if I get ambitious I just may create a blog for Sasha and Lola.

I found out about this dog blogging thing recently at work. My co-worker Ellie created a blog (now called a blark, blog + bark) for her dog Kismet. It's pretty entertaining, you can check it out here. Kismet has been hoping that our other work friend Mutchy would let her dog Lola have a blark and lo and behold Lola now has a blark, you can check it out here. Apparently there is a whole website dedicated to Dogs with Blogs. Who knew? I didn't but I do now and so do you.

Check it out.

P.S. Vicki, I think Kodi needs her own real blog. :)

Food Kick

2008-12-03T15:40:00.004-06:00

I'm on a food kick lately. I'm obsessed with cookbooks and reading receipes but I don't actually make a lot of them. I need to get better at that. But anyways like I said I am on this food kick, cookbook kick, reading recipes all that kind of stuff. I may even post a recipe or 2 in the near future. In the meantime I have found a few cool blogs you might want to check out if you like
recipes.

The first one is Pioneer Woman. Awesome recipes and she even photographs the process. Seriously cool. If you like potatoes (and who doesn't) check out the Crash Hot Potatoes. Yum!

This next blog is new to me but do you like baked goods? Check out Bakerella. There are things like cupcake bites on here.

I have to admit I am a fan of Rachael Ray. I like her show, 30 minutes meals, I have several of her cookbooks and I get her magazine. Now I have found a blog that is dedicated to her, her recipes etc... Lots of recipes are posted. It's cool. You can check it out here.

Happy blog reading.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-11-21T08:15:00.002-06:00

Yes folks, it is my birthday today. I can't believe I am 41. Where does the time go? I have been out of high school for 23 years and out of college for 19. Yikes! Time goes by so fast.

I'd have to say for the most part I am happy with where my life is at. I have a good job, a great husband, friends and family. Other than my heart condition I am relatively healthy. I have a house, 2 dogs. I am college educated.

Do I have regrets, sure, but nothing that I really dwell on. What's done is done, you can only move forward.

So, Happy Birthday to ME!

Speaking of Christmas

2008-11-06T09:35:00.002-06:00

Did you know that Santa will be at the Mall of America starting TODAY? Well now you know. It's too freaking early for this. Whatever happened to the big hoopla of Santa arriving the day after Thanksgiving? I miss the good old days of the Christmas push not happening until after Thanksgiving. Every year it seems to get earlier and earlier. I've seen countless christmas related commericals and I already posted about Christmas music being played on the radio already.

47 shopping days until Christmas Eve.

Christmas Music in November

2008-11-03T08:39:00.002-06:00

Yes, that is right folks, Christmas music in November. Where? KOOL 108. I about fell out of the car this morning. At first I thought it was a commercial but oh no, it wasn't. KOOL 108 has rolled out the Christmas music from now until Christmas. Couldn't we at least wait until Thanksgiving???

I'm having a hard time focusing on Christmas partially because it is going to be 73 degrees outside today. I'm having a hard time believing it is November already.

So if you don't want to listen to Christmas music just yet and you live here in the Twin Cities, do not turn on KOOL 108.

I must be crazy or I think I am walking the 3-Day again

2008-10-22T09:49:00.002-06:00

Yes, that is right folks. I think I will be walking in the Twin Cities 2009 Breast Cancer 3-Day. If you know me personally you know that I am very committed to this event and have been involved for the past 4 years. For those of you who don't know me personally I walked the 3-day (60 miles in 3 days) in 2005. I was a volunteer Crew Member (worked my ass off, camped out for 3 days) in 2006 and 2007 and this year I just volunteered on the last day and I was a Volunteer Captain.

I was totally thinking that I was going to crew next year. I love being part of the crew and it doesn't require fundraising or walking but my friend Deb (who I met the first year) doesn't want to crew she wants to walk. So I said I would think about it. Kind of crazy considering my heart condition although I technically have no physical restrictions. I will have to get final approval from my cardiologist and if they don't think that I should do all 60 miles I can do 1/2 each day or something like that. My personal trainer thinks it's a great idea. I think I just might be crazy.

So as of right now, I am going to walk in the Twin Cities Breast Cancer 3-Day in August 2009. Guess I better start fundraising. Yikes! Anyone want to donate to a crazy person?? :)

Seriously though, I love this event and after being involved in 2005 I told myself that I would be involved with this event every year that it is in the Twin Cities. It is truly an amazing experience.

Just For Fun Please Say Hi

2008-10-05T20:47:00.002-06:00

I know you are out there. I can see it by the hit counter on the bottom of my blog. So, I want to know who you are. I want to know who is reading. Just for fun please post a comment and say Hi. I promise I won't hold you to commenting on all of my posts.

The basement is almost done

2008-09-19T10:37:00.003-06:00

I am so freaking excited I can barely stand it. It will be done next week. They just need to finish up some trim, put on one door and put in the toilet and vanity. We are painting the bathroom this weekend so it is done before the plumbing fixtures go in and the family room will get painted sometime soon. I just cannot wait to have all of the construction mess out of my house.

More pictures to come. I need to get some new ones of the drywall and the bathroom. It actually looks like a bathroom now because the floor is in, the lights are in and the shower is in.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Check out my new blog

2008-09-15T18:47:00.002-06:00

So I am totally following in Kristine's footsteps and starting a new blog to share my weight loss journey.

I hope you will check it out. You can find it here.

Working out

2008-09-12T15:25:00.002-06:00

Well I took a big leap today and signed up with a personal trainer. I was looking into whether or not I qualified for cardiac rehab but it doesn't look like I could make it fit into my work schedule even if I do qualify. The cost is a bit more than I would have like to have spent but I can spread out the payments and I am looking at this as though I am going to cardiac rehab (would have had to pay a co-pay each time).

I told the trainer all about my heart conditions before I went in for the consultation so he did some research (very cool) on the internet. He is going to do more research as we are working together so that he knows best how to work with me and my limitations. I feel pretty comfortable with his background as he has worked with rehab patients in the past. I think it is going to be a great thing as I can't get this weight off without help.

I'm starting on Wed. the 17th and I am actually looking forward to it.

Pictures

2008-09-11T18:10:00.007-06:00

Ok, I hate the layout of these pictures but it is the best I can do right now. Can you see the progression? The drywall is done now, I just don't have a picture yet. Pretty cool huh?

More to come.......

Lose for Good

2008-09-09T07:11:00.003-06:00

My friend Kristine has a second blog dedicated to her weight loss journey. It's really well done and very informative. I love her honesty. She has posted her real weight for everyone to see. She is a brave girl. :) I'm thinking about stealing her idea of the additional blog as I am about to embark on a real weight loss journey. I say real because I have tried to lose weight before and generally have only made half hearted attempts and therefore have had disappointing results.

Kristine is having a contest right now and she is giving away (2) 3 month memberships to Weight Watchers online. This is my official entry into her contest.

Have you heard about Weight Watchers latest? It's called Lose For Good. "For every pound of weight lost wtih Weight Watchers between September 7th and October 18th, 2008, Weight Watchers will donate the equivalent of one pound of food, up to one million dollars*, to someone, somewhere who needs it. Together we'll make the world a healthier place, one pound at a time."

I could really benefit from this 3 month membership right now. I am way off track on my weight loss efforts. I have done Weight Watchers in the past but took a break recently because I just couldn't afford to pay for the whole at-work session. Losing weight for me is a big deal right now. Not only do I want to lose weight so that I can look better and feel better but losing weight could also help my heart. I have cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure and my heart function has been compromised as a result. My heart function may never increase to a normal level but losing weight could be the difference. I stand the greatest chance of improving my heart function by losing weight. For me, losing weight improves my chances at life and I mean that literally.

Another part of the contest is to post a favorite healthy recipe or food to eat. One of my favorite things to eat is ice cream but we all know that ice cream is not always friendly to the diet. So here are a few of my favorite ways to get ice cream and still have it be Weight Watchers friendly.

1) Weight Watchers ice cream treats. These are heavnely. I actually had to hide the Cookies and Cream bars from my husband because he was eating them all!

2) Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches.

3) Take 2 chocolate graham crackers and put Fat Free or Light Cool Whip in the center, make into a sandwich and freeze. Instant ice cream sandwich without the ice cream. Very tasty!

So there you have it. This is the first step in my new weight loss journey. I hope to have Weight Watchers play a big part in this new chapter of my life. Here's to weight loss, a healthy heart and a long life!

Updates

2008-09-05T07:51:00.003-06:00

Haven't posted in a while so I thought I should probably put out an update post. Pictures will follow in another post since I have been too lazy to upload them to my computer. I will do it this weekend, I promise.

Let's start with a construction update. It's moving along. I am so ready to have these people out of my home. It looks like about 2 more weeks of work but we are making progress. The drywall is at the taping and sanding stage. Next week we finish sanding and move onto installing the bathroom floor and the ceiling. Bathroom fixtures and lighting to follow. Don't you like how I say "we" like I have anything to do with this. Let me set the record staight, I am not, nor is Mike, completing any part of this project. We are paying through the nose to have someone else do the work. Thought I should just put that out there so when I say we, you all don't think I all handy and doing some of the work myself. I may help paint but that's about it.

Work update. Not too much to report. Still working for the county collecting child support and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I'm currently looking at new school programs and again contemplating whether or not to pursue a Master's. I found a few programs that look interesting, just need to do more research. I also continue to go back to looking at a school program for sign language interpreter. Now, I have no experience with this at all. I know most of the alphabet and that is about it. I don't know anyone in my everyday life that is deaf but I have always had this thought in the back of my head that I want to know sign language. Maybe this is one of those things that people always talk about, you know, they don't know what they want to do but there is something pulling them toward a particular area. Maybe this is it for me because this thought never goes away. It keeps coming back over and over again. If anyone cares to weigh in on this please share your insights. I think part of me is scared of the length of the program, it could take me about 3-4 years to complete since I have no background in this area whatsoever but I would leave the program with a 2nd bachelors degree and the school is right up the street from my house and it is the same school that I have my first bachelors from so I wouldn't have to take any generals. What do you think? Should I go for it?

Heart update. I'm going to make this a seperate post because it could and likely will get long.

So, that is it for now. Watch for new posts about my heart condition and pictures of the construction project from hell as well as other random pictures. Coming soon, I promise.

Did you know........

2008-08-19T11:35:00.002-06:00

that going on vacation does not necessarily mean you will come home rested and relaxed? Ok, I did not just realize this but it never fails to amaze me each and every time.

I went to Wisconsin Dells this weekend with my 2 12 year old nieces. While I was there I felt very relaxed, I caught a few rays and lounged around the pool and was feeling nice and relaxed. What happened? I had to drive home. YUCK! I hate driving long distances. HATE IT. But since I was the only one in the car over the age of 12 I had no choice but to do all of the driving.

I even went to bed at a decent hour last night and guess what? Yep, you guessed it, I'm dog tired today.

At least we had fun.

New shopping blog aimed at parents

2008-08-13T10:43:00.002-06:00

My friend Sara started a new shopping blog aimed at parents, you can check it out here. It looks pretty cool. Check it out and see what you think.

I found some interesting things on there and I am not even a parent. Enjoy!

Construction pics

2008-08-11T19:29:00.010-06:00

This top picture is actually the "during" this wall will house the egress window tomorrow.

Below is what it looked like before.

This next picture is the "during" photo of the soon-to-be bathroom.

Below we have the before of the soon-to-be bathroom.

More to come............

Construction nightmares............

2008-08-07T20:45:00.003-06:00

Vicki, I hope you are reading this. I would love to know how you H would handle this situation.

Problem #1 Get a call from the project manager of our basement remodel yesterday (Day 1 of construction) informing me that they forgot to include the cost of the permit in our itemized estimate. They only put the cost of the inspection in there. It's an additional $410.00. Even though it is totally their fault (they admitted this) they want us to pay a portion. I agreed to a 60-40 split with us paying 40%.

Problem #2 Get a call from the project manager and we have encountered a new more expensive issue. When they pulled the permit they found out that apparently we have to have an egress window in our basement even though there will be no bedroom down there. Apparently this is new code effective 1/1/08. I'm livid. First of all we just had new glassblock windows put in the basement about 2 months ago. The window company didn't seem to think that there was an issue with an egress. Second of all, how does the contractor not know about the code? Isn't that their job to know this when submitting a bid and an estimate to us???

None of the companies that we received estimates from said we had to have an egress. I called the glassblock window company and this was news to them as well. I have also attempted to research this issue on the City of St. Paul's website. I find nothing in the code that states a non-sleeping room needs an egress window.

I do not want to tear out one of my brand new windows to put in an egress. I do not want to spend anymore money as this project is already costly to begin with.

I have no idea what to do. If we have to do the egress am I responsible to foot the bill? Do I just suck it up and pay it?

The owner of the company and the project manager are coming over tomorrow to discuss what to do.

We are looking at approximately $1400. What's next???????

Construction starts today.....

2008-08-06T10:09:00.003-06:00

We are embarking on a huge construction project that will remodel and finish off our basement as well as add a bathroom. It's going to take about 4 weeks and we were supposed to get started on Monday the 11th. They called yesterday to see about starting today, so we said sure. Might as well get started earlier and then they can get done earlier.

I took some before pictures this morning so I will try to post those later. I can't wait until it is all finished.

I have never had workers in my home when I am not there. It's a little nerve wrecking. I'm sure things will be fine.

Now, off to Home Depot to pick out fixtures for the bathroom.

More on Meal Planning

2008-07-30T12:53:00.002-06:00

Did any of you check out the website that Susan posted in comment #9 from my first Meal Planning post?

Not sure how she found my blog but the website looks interesting. I may have to check it out. Anyone reading familiar with it?

I suck at meal planning

2008-07-29T10:10:00.003-06:00

I feel like I have no time. I want to plan my meals I really do but I just can't seem to get started. I have tons of cookbooks (another one of my addictions along with Peanut Butter M & M's), I have the desire, why can't I make this work?

So, if you are good at meal planning please tell me what you do and how you do it.

I like this..........

2008-07-18T08:28:00.001-06:00

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Therapy Update

2008-07-10T11:07:00.002-06:00

So a few posts back I mentioned that I was going to start therapy and I have. I've only had 2 sessions so far but I have to say that they are really making a difference. I really like the therapist that I am seeing. I am going to therapy to deal with some specific issues and this particular therapist is basically a specialist in the area so it has been very helpful. I get 2 more sessions with him for free (referred by our EAP at work) and then I am hoping to continue with him.

I have lots of good things to think about and our sessions have been very thought provoking. I have some homework to do and that is good because it helps me to stay focused and not think that since I have 2 sessions under my belt that suddenly everything is A-OK.

I feel like some weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and that I am finally being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. It hard when you get so focused on the negative. Pretty soon everything is negative and it just does not feel like things will ever improve. You get so mired down in the negativity that it is hard to dig out.

I still have a great deal of work to do but I finally feel like I am staring to make some progress. I've been to therapy before and it was ok but I finally realized that if I didn't tackle this one particular issue head on I was just going to stay in denial and then nothing would ever change. I wish I would have had the courage and strength to confront these problems before. I probably would have saved myself years of wallowing in negativity but oh well, no sense dwelling on that now. Onward and upward as they say.

Here's to the future.

Randon Thoughts

2008-07-03T15:18:00.002-06:00

* I didn't care for the layout of the bloglist thing so I deleted it. I'm sticking with Other blogs I read. I liked that it would put those blogs that were updated up to the top but it didn't seem to be working right so out it goes.

* I see that my friend Kristine updated the title of her blog. I'm totally taking credit for the subtle name change. She asked for ideas a while back and I believe she used my suggestion. Correct me if I am wrong Kristine. :)

* So glad that I don't have to work at the county tomorrow. I'm still working at the liquor store but it is a different kind of work so it won't be quite as bad. Double money is always good.

Please vote

2008-06-28T15:50:00.003-06:00

Which layout do you like better? Do you like the new "my blog list" and that layout or do you like the old "Other blogs I read"? I can't decide. There is a poll just above my picture. Voting is open until 07/02/08.

Need help from those of you who are mom's

2008-06-17T18:10:00.002-06:00

We have Mike's granddaughter, Ashley about 2 weekends per month for overnight visits. When she comes over we have to do a car seat transfer from her parents car to ours. It gets to be a bit of a hassle. So I was thinking that maybe we would just get our own car seat.

I am utterly clueless at how to go about purchasing a car seat. Ashley will be 2 in July. What should I be looking for?

Please help.

Looking for ways to go Green?

2008-06-06T06:32:00.004-06:00

Here is a cool way to get started. Check out this blog. Teresa is making reusable shopping bags and she will send you one for FREE! You just have to send her a picture of you using the bag and she will post it on her site. I've already requested mine. She also takes donations of fabric so she can continue her mission.

Check it out.

**UPDATE** The Green Bag Lady is no longer taking requests (for now) for bags. She is a bit overloaded.

Wish me luck

2008-05-29T17:38:00.003-06:00

I started therapy today. I won't elaborate right now because my emotions are really raw but I have come to some realizations in the last few weeks that have lead me to therapy.

I really don't like who I have become and I am angry at myself for letting things get so out of control. I'm not happy and I really do not like myself so it is time to get help.

Today was the first step in what I hope will be a healing adventure.

Mother's Day

2008-05-12T16:39:00.002-06:00

What can I say about Mother's Day. I'm sure it is a great day for some people but yesterday felt very lonely for me. I'm not a mother, have never been a mother and never will be a mother. I have a mother so I can celebrate her, which I did but something was missing. I don't long to have a child and now with my heart problem I have been told I can't have a child. Maybe I was more sad this year because even if I changed my mind and Mike and I decided to have kids, I can't. Up until the heart problem it was always about just not wanting to have children but something is different when you are told you can't do something even if you didn't want to do it before.

My niece currently lives with us and I basically am a mother to her when she is here. Mike has a granddaughter who I take care of often but you know even though she calls me grandma I am not biologically her grandma. People wished me a Happy Mother's Day, I guess they just assumed I must be a mother. It felt strange. It didn't make me happy because I know the truth, I am no one's mother.

There is no day of celebration for those of who are not mom's. I know I am not alone but I also know that I am in the minority.

I am happy for all of you out there who are mom's please don't get me wrong. I'm just sad this year.

Let's talk about saving money

2008-05-10T19:55:00.003-06:00

I'm trying to become more concious of the money I spend and where it goes. I've also realized that lately things are more expensive, gas in particular. (ok, I didn't just realize this)

So I'm trying to find new ways to save money besides the standard coupons. So let's share money saving tips and tricks. Please reply with your tips and tricks and I will share a few of mine here:

I've switched all of my prescriptions to Target. Between my heart problem, asthma, allergies and acid reflux I have several prescriptions to get filled each month. I think I have about 12. A lot of my prescriptions are less than my co-pay at Target thanks to that $4 dollar generic plan. This alone saves me a bunch of money each month!

Target also has a debit card that you can get. I like this idea for my prescriptions because once I fill 10 prescriptions I get a 10% coupon to use for a full day of shopping at Target. Won't take me long to earn these, then I can use them for my grocery shopping.

Half dot com. I love Half dot com. I have found so many brand new books at a fraction of the price at Barnes and Noble or Amazon. Just the other day I have 2 books in my cart at BN (had a gift card) and I decided to check out Half. Found the 2 books, both were brand new, one was $1.93 and the other was $3.95. Bought both and with individual shipping it was still less than one book at BN. I have also sold a bunch of books on Half and have made some decent money.

Those are my 3 current favorite money saving tips and tricks. I'm looking forwarding to reading what you all have to share!

I'm addicted

2008-05-01T15:46:00.001-06:00

To what you may ask, freaking Peanut Butter M & M's. Yes, that is right folks I just can't get enough of Peanut Butter M & M's. That is my confession for the day.

Prayers for Emilie

2008-04-22T18:53:00.001-06:00

Cancer sucks! Please say a prayer for my friend Emilie and her family. She needs a miracle right now and maybe through our thoughts and prayers she will get one.

Spending report for Tuesday and Wednesday

2008-04-17T11:31:00.002-06:00

Tuesday:

Gas

Wednesday:

Prescriptions and a few household things at Target

Overall I have to say that I did pretty well with my week long experiment. Most days I was able to stop all discretionary spending. Other days were harder but I know I can do it.

What I really need to do is to get more organized. I find that I make too many trips to the store, mainly Target. I need to be better at list making and get all of my weekly shopping done in one trip. I will still need to stop occasionally to pick up things like milk and fresh foods. Once I get into Target I have problems with spending because I can always find things that I "need". Cutting back on my trips to the store is going to be huge for me.

Off to get organized.

Spending report for Sunday and Monday

2008-04-14T18:12:00.001-06:00

Sunday:

Groceries for the week. Did well because I was shopping at SuperTarget and I did not buy anything that was not on the list of things we needed.

Monday:

Powerball Pool
Mailing Supplies for Ebay auctions

That is it.

Spending Report for Saturday

2008-04-13T08:38:00.001-06:00

Well, I was doing great until we went out to dinner. My only purchase of the day was unnecessary, it was $20 worth of pulltabs. Other than that I didn't spend anything all day.

Spending Report for Friday

2008-04-12T14:16:00.002-06:00

Friday was a hard day, I had to go to Target. I get my many prescriptions filled at Target and I am always tempted by something. I think I did well.

I picked up my prescription and then bought a few lunch items to keep at work (no eating out). I also bought windshield wiper blades (very much needed) and a few grocery items for home that I missed on my trip to Lund's. That is it, no extras!

I was also very tempted to go out to lunch since I was out at Target but I didn't go. I went back to work and ate some lunch items that I picked up at Target.

I spent about $40 at Target and $10 at the post office for stamps and mailing a package for a book I sold on Half dot com.

All necessary purchases!

Spending report for Thursday

2008-04-11T06:50:00.001-06:00

I spent $0 on Thursday. That's right folks, I did not spend a dime all day! There were no necessary or unnecessary purchases made. What a good feeling!

My spending update for Wednesday

2008-04-10T11:03:00.002-06:00

Day one of my experiment is over. Let's see how I did.

Parking for doctor's appt. $4
Co-Pay for doctor's appt. $20
Groceries $45

That is it, that is all I spent. I was very tempted to buy a magazine of a cookbook magazine at the grocery store. They are just so tempting right up there by the register, but alas I did not give in. What I did do instead was take the free store magazines that are up on the counter at Lunds. One is called Real Food and the other is called Organic & Natural. So there is a little tip for you. They have recipes, coupons and some articles.

On to Day 2.

$10,000 win on Powerball

2008-04-09T11:49:00.002-06:00

At work we do a Powerball pool. It usually does not start until the jackpot is at least $70 million dollars then everyone who wants to participate puts in $1. If there are any winnings we roll them over to the next drawing and buy additional tickets. A few weeks ago when the jackpot was $275 million our Powerball pool won $10,000. There were 59 of us in the pool. That broke down to $169.00 per person or $114.50 after taxes. It doesn't sound like much once you break it down but oh well, it was $114.50 I didn't have prior.

We had 4 numbers plus the Powerball. One more number and we would have won the jackpot. Can you imagine????

I can now say I won money on Powerball.

My own spending experiment

2008-04-08T16:57:00.002-06:00

So I was reading Marketing Mama's blog and throught it I found out about the Cheap Chick. The Cheap Chick is limiting her spending to $20 (on each purchase) for a year. I don't know that I could do that but I am going to try an experiment of my own. I need to cut way back on my discretionary spending as I am trying to greatly reduce my debt.

My plan: I'm going to see how long I can go with only making necessary purchases. I'm going to start with a week and go from there.

Necessary Purchases include:

Gas
Groceries
Prescription Co-Pays
Doctor visit Co-Pays
Household supplies ie.. toilet paper, cleaning supplies, laundry soap
Household bills
Dog related expenses, vet and food only
Powerball pool at work (hey we just won $10,000 2 weeks ago I am not about to miss out when we win the jackpot)
Car maintenance

Off limits:

Vending machine purchases
Extra "stuff" from Target
Lunches out
Caribou
Brueggers
Clothing
Purses
Shoes
Candy bar fundraisers (currently going on at work)

If I think of other things I will add them later. Feel free to add suggestions. I will report daily on how I do.

Testing out the hyperlink

2008-04-07T20:04:00.001-06:00

Thanks to Kristine for the instructions on how to do this. I hope it works.

No Breast Cancer 3-day this year

2008-04-07T18:09:00.002-06:00

I have participated in the Breast Cancer 3-day for the past 3 years and each year has been an amazing experience but this year I am not participating. I'm taking a break. Instead I am participating in the American Heart Association's Heart Walk. It is Saturday April 26th at Harriet Island in St. Paul. This walk has an important meaning to me this year. I'm walking and raising money for myself and others like me. If you would like to sponsor me please check out my website at this link:

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=246011&lis=0&kntae246011=287806D9B18B45E0AA809A1914A13BB0

and if you can teach me how to put hyperlinks in my blog posts I would be ever so grateful!

Home From Hawaii

2008-04-07T17:53:00.005-06:00

It's hard to be home after spending 2 weeks in Hawaii. I have been home for a week as of today. When I left Maui it was about 85 and sunny. I flew home to snow and having to get out my winter coat. So depressing.

Here is the view from our lanai:

Post Surgery Update 1 and 2

2008-02-29T16:32:00.002-06:00

I've been so lazy about updating this thing lately.

Ok, on to the post surgery update:

Surgery went well. I think it lasted about 2 hours. I was pretty out of it afterwards but the pain wasn't too bad. Drugs helped of course. ;) I spent the night in the hospital and then was home Friday by noon. I pretty much spent my weekend sleeping or resting. The pain was pretty intense on Friday and Saturday so I didn't do much of anything. By Sunday I felt better and on Monday I actually left the house for a while. Back to work on Tuesday. Overall that first week was a bit tough. I have lifting restrictions with my left arm and can't raise it above shoulder height. Makes doing my hair a real challenge!

Had my post surgery appointment on Thursday of last week and that went well. They said everything looked great and I was given the go ahead to get the incision area wet and I could finally take a full shower!

I don't have to go back for 7 weeks. I go in for what they call a device interrogation. I get hooked up to a computer and the read the ICD. It's pretty amazing. They get all of this info off this little device.

I'm feeling better and better everyday. I can tell where the device is because I can feel it under my skin but I don't notice it as much as I first did. Still a little pain but hardly anything to even note at this point. I guess now I just have to get mentally get on with life and try not to let this device and my illness define me.

I am not the heart patient girl or the girl with the thing in her chest. I am just ordinary and just me.

I'm off to surgery in the morning

2008-02-13T22:25:00.002-06:00

If you are reading this please say a prayer for me. I will update in a few days.

Surgery is set for Valentine's Day

2008-02-06T16:36:00.000-06:00

How appropriate that I am having heart related surgery on Valentine's Day. I am having the ICD implanted as a precautionary method on the 14th. It's kind of scary to think about but I feel that it is necessary. Hopefully I will never need it.

I will be in Regions overnight and then home on Friday and back to work on Tuesday.

More to come.....

Some Christmas Photos

2008-01-01T15:23:00.000-06:00

Mike's granddaughter Ashley

My niece and goddaughter Charli Jo

Another niece and goddaughter Clare

40

2007-11-21T16:16:00.000-06:00

That is how old I am today. I was actually anxiously awaiting this day and I find myself disappointed one again. I guess I need to stop putting so much emphasis on my birthday so that I am not constantly disappointed.

I'm feeling very sad, anxious, angry, frustrated. None of things that I am feeling is particularily good. I must say that I am having a pity party for one. I don't dread turning 40 although I don't quite know where the time has gone.

Fighting with one's husband the night before the big day has absolutely everything to do with my mood today. I didn't get so much as a Happy Birthday from him today at all. No flowers sent to my work, no card, no acknowledgment whatsoever. Our plans for a special evening out have gone to hell thanks to his duty to work on Saturday night. I'm sure it can be rescheduled but somehow going out for a special dinner way after the special date has occured suddenly becomes just a night out for dinner and it is very likely to be overlooked.

I always look forward to my birthday every year and I was really anticipating this one and all I find myself doing is feeling sorry for myself.

I think this will be the year for some big changes.

7 Things

2007-10-25T16:10:00.000-06:00

I too was tagged by Kristine to give seven truths about myself so here goes:

1. I have 2 tattoos and I am seriously thinking about getting a 3rd.

2. I am scared to death about what my heart condition means for me down the road.

3. I am a horrible procrastinator.

4. I like to think of myself as an organized person but sometimes I am really rather messy.

5. I am going to be 40 in less than a month.

6. One of the main reasons why I have chosen to not have children is because I don't think I would be a good parent.

7. I struggle with very low self esteem.

Just checking in..........

2007-10-17T15:29:00.000-06:00

It seems like forever since I have updated this blog. I guess I have been busy. Nothing overly exciting has been going but a few minor things:

I have another echo next week. This should be the big test to see if my heart if really improving. Please keep me in your prayer!

I'm going to be Charli Jo's godmother. I am so excited.

Work is not fun.

I have sent out over 9 resumes and have not heard back from any of them. No interview, no rejection letter, nothing. What is up with that?

Went to Florida last month for a long weekend and it was kind of a disaster, flight delayed 5 hours, missed connecting flight out of Atlanta, tried to sleep in the Atlanta airport and then it rained the whole time we were there. It was nice to get away though.

I think that is it for now.

I have a new niece

2007-09-04T17:32:00.000-06:00

This is Charli Jo. She was 8lbs, 3 oz and 20 inches long. Can you see all of her hair??? I just love her.

Life

2007-08-29T20:23:00.000-06:00

It wasn't all that long ago that I was dealing with an unexpected medical situation and a heart diagnosis, now I am finding out that one of my friends likely has cancer. We are the same age. Much to young to be dealing with such serious health issues. I know that these things can hit you at any age but it is just so shocking to me that here we are in what could be called the prime of our lives and suddenly illness strikes.

One day you are this person who is living your life, working, spending time with your family and the next day you are a person who has an illness. There is life before the diagnosis and after, and it's different.

Please take a moment and say a prayer for my friend Emilie. She needs the prayers right now.