Sunday, April 17, 2011

Missed out on a great weekend

and now I am feeling sad. There were 2 great gatherings this weekend. One in Boston and one in Chicago. I wanted to go so badly. I originally thought I would be at the Chicago get together but I had to back out. I am really trying hard to be financially responsible and to curb my debt. In order to do this I had to make a hard decision and back out of the get together. I know in the long run it was the right thing to do financially but it was hard and sad nonetheless. Not going really hit me harder than I thought it would. I missed out on a great time with some great friends. I hope I get the chance to attend the next one. I was there in spirit with you my fellow bookclubbers! I am glad that you had an awesome time!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Thinking, pondering, sorting out my mind

So I am sitting here in Maui (husband is asleep), listening to the waves and thinking. I love this place because it is so peaceful and I don't have the everyday distractions of work and life. I'm trying to figure out my life. Big stuff huh?

Have you heard these sayings: square peg in a round hole, 2 is company-3 is a crowd, odd man out? What do they all have in common? They are summing up how I feel most days. I have felt this way for a very long time, I am always the odd man out. It is something I have struggled with. In my husbands family I am the sister-in-law who is never included, with my friends I am the only one without kids, at work I am the one who thought that working hard and playing by the rules would get me somewhere. I keep trying to be the square peg fitting in the round hole. I never can seem to find the square hole.

I guess there is no real point to this other than it was on my mind and I felt like getting it out. Back to vacation. If you need me I will be over here on the outside looking in.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Disappointment

I don't even know if disappointment is the right word. I am definitely disappointed but it goes so much deeper than that. I'm hurt, angry, sad but most of all one of my dreams was taken away from me. What is this dream? Well, it was a job or more importantly to me it was more of a career.

The job I have now is a job. I really don't see it as a career. I could definitely do it for a long time and have (in my 10th year) but this job that I wanted was definitely a career move for me. It's at my current place of employment and it was a step up from what I am doing now. I really wanted this job. There is not much turnover in the area so I have been waiting for a long time to get my chance and that chance came up recently.

There were 6 candidates of which I was one. There were 2 openings. I thought my chances were good but deep down my insecurities were getting the best of me and I really didn't think I had a shot. On paper I am extremely well qualified. I have been preparing myself over the last 9 years to do this job by taking on extra responsibilities to make sure that I was qualified. I went back to school to get my paralegal certificate to bump the legal side that I would need. Part of my schooling allowed me to do an internship at work that gave me some hands on experience. I thought I was welll prepared. I thought my interview went well but apparently it did not. I was not offered the position. I lost out to someone who was not nearly as qualified nor had anywhere near the time in. One person who got one of the positions is great. I am happy for her, she deserved it.

I am having a really hard time with this. They told me I was over confident, that I came into the interview like I expected the position yet I didn't sell myself. I also didn't give the "right" answer to a questions that I apparently misinterpreted but then was told that there were no right or wrong answers. It's so hard to interview internally. 2 people on the interview are my supervisors, one current, one former, both know what I am capable of and it just doesn't matter.

I used to think that working hard and doing a good job meant something. Apparently I was wrong.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

All things new

In an effort to get back into blogging I've give the blog a little facelift. New background and a new photo. More to come.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Resurrection

I may be resurrecting this blog. I stopped writing a while ago because I didn't really feel like I had found a voice for this thing. I'm not a mommy blogger (no kids) I'm not a business, I didn't want to limit myself to just a health/diet type thing. So I was not sure where I wanted this thing to go. I'm still not sure that I do.

If there is anyone out there still reading, what do you like to read about when you read someone's blog? Do you want it to be specific to one topic, do you like random everyday life posts? Tell me, what catches your interest?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Wordless Wednesday-Man Candy


Cal Clutterbuck of the MN Wild! Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

I guess it really isn't wordless Wednesday since I just wrote a whole other post but I will leave you with this nice piece of eye candy:


Weekly Challenges Update

I haven't posted a new weekly challenge in 2 weeks because I decided I really need to make 1 2 and 3 work. It's been very eye opening to journal what I eat and then add up the calories at the end of the day. This is exactly why I need to be journaling. Still working on the water intake as well. I can really tell a difference when I don't drink water, hello headaches! Still have not had any soda other than a sip or two of diet coke that was chasing some excedrin. I think I am on week 4 of no soda. It's been surprisingly easy.

So I will keep plugging away on week's 1, 2 and 3 for now. More challenges to come soon!